Aug 28th, 2020
Do you do your best to deliver on your promises and commitments, maintaining high standards of personal integrity, or do you find it hard to establish long standing, trusting relationships?
Hi, this is Grant Herbert, Emotional Intelligence Master Trainer and Sustainable Performance Coach, and today I want to continue our conversation by unpacking the elements you need for “Building a Bond of Trust”.
Everywhere you look at the moment there are so many examples of mistrust and scepticism. Whether it’s leaders in government, health organisations, the media, or even with people you have never even met but are interacting with on social media, a lack of trust in them or the information they are communicating is causing more and more conflict.
When people have developed a reputation for lacking integrity, or undermine others for their own personal gain, it is little wonder you find it hard to believe anything they say. Making promises they never intend to keep just to get what they want, behaving erratically and treating their fellow man poorly, and being unable to establish open and candid conversations, erodes away the trust that we all need to feel safe, cared for and valued.
But then there are the people in your life who behave in accordance with their beliefs, values, and commitments. They genuinely care about others and treat people fairly, consistently and with respect. That’s the kind of people we want to run the world, right?
Well, let me encourage you, and myself, to be the personification of that famous quote that says, “Be the change you want to see in the world”. You and I may not have any chance of controlling the behaviour of those other leaders, but we do have an opportunity to influence our own little part of the world.
It takes a long time to build trust, and only an instant to destroy it, so let me unpack a few tips for you that will help you build and maintain a lasting bond of trust with those around you. Are you ready to take on the challenge?
Over the last few weeks, we have already spoken about several things that every trusted leader demonstrates. Empathy, active listening, effective communication and great conflict management skills. Let me add a few more to the list.
Be real and talk straight, rather than skirting around the subject and appearing to be hiding something.
Make it easier to keep your word by avoiding to overpromise because you want people to approve of you.
Admit when you have made a mistake because nobody expects you to be perfect, they just expect honesty.
Share your true feelings and thoughts about a situation, allowing room for others to disagree or share a different view.
Show others you have trust in them. A bond of trust is a 2 way street. People need to know that you have their back before they will unconditionally have yours.
Learn about who people really are, not just what they do, and never betray a confidence by disclosing what they tell you inappropriately.
Trusting others, and in turn being trusted by them, is all we need to build a bond of trust. In today’s uncertain world of constant change, online scrutiny and the many examples of people we find it hard to trust, you can be a breath of fresh air to the people in your world.
To demonstrate these trust makers, and avoid the trust breakers, you need to continue to build your emotional intelligence. As I have said many times before, I may be a subject matter expert, but I am a daily work in progress just like you. It’s never about being perfect. It’s more about making incremental changes, one day at a time.
If you would like to know more about how to do this, get in touch and ask me to help. I would love to be a part of your journey.
Well, that’s it from me for another week. Make sure you hit the subscribe button, share this with your friends, and join me again next week when we will continue the conversation by learning how to navigate change by being more agile. I’ll see you then.