Nov 8th, 2019
Many people have difficulty speaking their truth or lack confidence in their own judgment.
Do you find yourself avoiding confrontations with people, even to get a problem resolved or when the confrontation might be best in the long run?
Hi, this is Grant Herbert, International Influencer and Sustainable Performance Coach, and this week I want to start a conversation with you around the crucial competency called Personal Power.
Personal Power is about having a healthy sense of self-confidence and an inner knowing that you can meet life’s challenges and live the life you choose. It’s the ability to have the difficult conversations in life, and to speak your truth quietly, sincerely, assertively and appropriately.
When you lack this competency, you might avoid going to the heart of an issue, hesitate to try new things, have difficulty defending their ideas, avoid challenges, give in too easily, question your own ability and often feel powerless.
You may avoid taking risks or chances and be unable to set boundaries or demand respectful treatment from others.
This was true for me for a major portion of my life and it held me back from becoming all I could be. The beliefs I formed about myself through experiences and negative influence from others, created roadblocks to the release of my full potential.
Having been rejected several times as a child, I formed a belief system that kept reminding me that I wasn’t good enough, I didn’t belong and wasn’t loveable. If I lowered my expectation then I lowered the risk of being hurt, so I thought. This eroded my true identity, and stripped away my authentic self, as I tried so hard to be who I thought others needed me to be. I had a very low sense of self worth but I put on a mask of confidence and it was really challenging to keep up the charade.
So what about you? What is it that is holding you back?
Personal Power is one of the 26 competencies I work with people on, in the area of Social and Emotional Intelligence, and my experience tells me that it is the baseline competency that underpins all the others. Without Personal Power, your unhealthy habits will deter you from developing and using the others so it’s where I start with every person or team that I develop.
So let’s take at look at what this empowering skill-set can give you and how to start developing it.
Let’s start by understanding the context of the word power. It’s about internal power and not power over others in that command and control kind of way. It’s all about feeling empowered and in control.
When you have a healthy level of Personal Power, you have a calm inner conviction about who you are and your ability to get the things you want and need in life. You believe you can set the direction of your life, and you do.
You are able to distinguish between the things you have control over in life, and those you do not, and you don’t stress over things.
You define yourself from the inside out (“I’m capable,” “I’m good at managing setbacks,” “I’m pretty good at managing conflicts,” “I’m creative”) rather than from the outside in (“I’m a CEO,” “I’m a banker,” “I’m a lawyer,” or “I’m a doctor”)
Instead of believing in fate, you make things happen, and you feel in control of your life. You know what you want and you go after because you are confident in yourself.
You can speak your truth, give voice to your convictions and set healthy boundaries.
So on a scale of 1 - 10, with 1 being the lowest and 10 being perfect with no room for improvement, how would you rate yourself on the Personal Power scale right now?
These days I fluctuate between 8 and 9.
How committed are you to increasing that number and giving yourself permission to realise your full potential?
I would love to help you but only if you want it more for yourself than I want it for you.
There are concepts and strategies that you can learn and implement that I can teach you and starting next week we will go deeper on a few of those.
So, that’s it from me for another week. Join me again next week as we continue the conversation by looking into the damage done by constantly trying to fit in and get the approval of others. See you then.