Feb 19th, 2021
Do you feel stuck doing the same old behaviour all the time, sticking to that area that you feel comfortable with, or do you take risks and try new things so that you can get different results? Hi, this is Grant Herbert, Emotional Intelligence Speaker and Trainer of the Year and Sustainable Performance Coach, and today I want to continue our conversation around changing behaviour so that we can become who we need to become to get the results that we want in 2021 and beyond by helping you to expand your comfort zone.
You and I both heard it many times before where someone will say something like, or put a meme up that says, "The magic is outside your comfort zone." And you're thinking, "Well, no, it's not. That is uncomfortable, and there's nothing magic about that." And the challenge that I see time and time again is that people are encouraged to step outside what's comfortable, to step outside their comfort zone. And I want to challenge that today because there's a couple of things that I see flawed in that. The first thing is that when we step outside what's comfortable, it's exactly that. It's uncomfortable. It goes outside what is our comfort zone and all those universal fears. The fear of not being enough, the fear of not belonging, the fear of not being liked or loved come into play and they manifest themselves. And we might language them in different ways, but it's not a good thing. It's not a great feeling to step outside the comfort zone.
The second flaw is that when we step outside our comfort zone, we also have the ability to step back in. So, it becomes a little bit of a game like "Put your left foot in, put your left foot out." We can go backwards and forwards, in and out of our comfort zone. Now, the problem with that is it doesn't form any new neural pathways. In fact, what it does, it cements in the beliefs that were holding us back from going out there in the first place, because we had a try at what was outside the comfort zone and we jumped back in and we gave up. So, we teach ourselves to try and that's okay. I might've not got it done, but I tried. And when we do that, our brain leaves room for us to fail. So, what I want to do is empower you with just a very short message today to help you to something different.
They say that the definition insanity is to continue to do the same thing over and over again and expect a different result. So if you're like many people that I've worked with all around the world who's sick and tired of being stuck in this comfort zone that's holding you back from becoming the best version of you, then whatever you're doing right now, switch it off, turn it off, stop doing it, and listen to what I'm about to tell you, because this has the power to change everything for you. This is a game-changer right now.
So, the first thing we need to do is look at this differently. Look at it in another light, another way, language things differently. So, we've already asked the time that stepping outside our comfort zone is not the thing to do. So, what do we do instead? So, remember that whole process of we recognise the behaviour that's not serving us. We reject it. We then replace it with something different that's going to bring a different result. And then we do that over and over again until it rewires the brain. So, what we need to do now is look at, "Well, what do I do differently, instead of stepping outside my comfort zone?"
Instead of stepping outside your comfort zone, what I'd like you to do do is think of a tree. A big, strong, tall, round tree. And you've all seen those images where they've cut the tree across and they've got all those expanding rings in the tree. A tree does not get its strength by its height. It gets its strength by its width and it gets its foundation in the roots and the soil that it's planted in, and we're exactly the same. So, what we do instead of stepping out of our comfort zone, which as we said just allows us to step back in, is, just like the growth of that tree, we expand our comfort zone. So we're not going in and out of it, we're just making it bigger and making more things comfortable.
So to do that, we need to use it is a different language. And one of the things that we might say is that things that are inside our comfort zone are easy and things outside our comfort zone are therefore hard or harder. What I'd like you to do and consider doing instead is to language it differently by saying the things that are inside my comfort zone, the things that are inside your comfort zone, they're not easy. They're just familiar. The things that you've done over and over again that when you first did the may not have been that same comfortable feeling that you get right now, you might've just done it off the cuff without even thinking from your subconscious, because it was the first time that you did it. Things aren't easy. They're just familiar. Then if things are familiar inside our comfort zone, the things that are outside our comfort zone are not hard. Perhaps they're just unfamiliar. Just like the things that are now comfortable that weren't when you first started doing them, those things outside your comfort zone can become comfortable as well. And to do that, just like before, we do them over and over again.
I want you to think about something right now in your career, in your job, in your business, in your life, that you now do easily and effortlessly without even thinking. Yet, the first times that you did that, the butterflies were not flying in formation. You weren't feeling good at all. And you expanded those things into your comfort zone by doing them over and over. So, it's not about stepping out of your comfort zone. The magic's not out there. It's about doing the things that are uncomfortable now, so that they become comfortable. So when we expand our comfort zone, it's like the tree growing year after year after year and getting that strength. And the more and more that you do that it will increase your confidence, your self-belief, and you will take things on that you might not have done before. You will challenge those internal dialogue beliefs that keep popping up and you'll go, "You know what? I'm going to do that. I'm going to do things that I know will move the needle towards where I want to go and I'm going to do them until they're comfortable." So, what I'd love you to do for this week is find one thing, one thing that you've been putting off, one thing that was on your list last week of procrastinators, and one thing that you don't want to do right now, and I want you to step up and challenge yourself and trust yourself and I want you to do those things until they become familiar, and therefore, they're in your comfort zone.
Being comfortable is not really what we're looking to do. Growing ourselves and becoming the person that we need to become so that we can do the things we need to do to have the results that we want to have is what we're all about.
Well, that's it from me for another week. Join me again next week, when we continue this conversation around changing our behaviour, becoming who we need to be to have the results that we want to have at the end of 2021 and beyond by helping you to understand that you've got everything within you and around you to do just that. I'll see you then.