Dec 25th, 2020
Do you constantly have things getting in your way that stopped you from getting where you want to go, or is it all smooth sailing where you are well-planned and you overcome obstacles along the way? Hi, this is Grant Herbert, Emotional Intelligence Speaker and Trainer of the Year and Sustainable Performance Coach, and today, I want to continue our conversation around getting ourselves set up towards the end of 2020 so that we can have the greatest 2021 possible by talking about the second element of our R4 method of planning, and that is eliminating your roadblocks.
So over the last couple of weeks, we've been talking about planning. We've been talking about setting ourselves up for a win in the next 12 months, and I introduced you to the model, which is a simple, yet powerful model that I use to plan where it is that I'm going and make sure that I set everything in place to give myself the greatest possibility of getting there. A number of weeks ago, we talked about "Being Precedes Doing". So as we go through this today, I want us to keep that in the back of our mind. So the R4 method, we talked about 12 months from now, this is the results that we want to have. And then we talked about the fact that we need to reverse engineer that and have a look at the reality of where you are. Then, we looked at the roadblocks, the things that are currently stopping you from being who you need to be and from doing the things you need to do so that you can get the results you want.
And then we top that off with what are the resources that you need to add that you don't currently have, whether that be some training that you need to do, some overcoming that you need to do, some shifts in mindset that you need to have, whatever it is for you to help you to overcome those roadblocks and go from where you are now to where you want to go. Have you ever been on a journey, a road trip, and you come across some roadworks, and then all of a sudden you have to take a detour into unfamiliar territory or worse still, you are stopped in your tracks and you have to sit there for a long period of time, wondering whether you're ever going to get to where you're going to go? And those things are what I like to call roadblocks.
Now, all of us are going to have roadblocks on our journey. We're all going to have it, things that come in front of us, that hinder or slow down our progress. So today, I want to talk about how can we make sure that those internal roadblocks are taken care of as we go into 2021 so that we can become who we need to be to get the results that we want. For me, for many years, I had so many roadblocks; roadblocks that were stopping me from taking a step forward, paralysing me, and most of the challenge, most of the roadblocks that I work with with people are not physical roadblocks, but they are ones that are in their mind. So, what I want to do is speak about and isolate some of the common roadblocks that I see when I work with my clients that stops them from getting where they want go. And year after year, they feel like they haven't achieved what they want to achieve, and they create even more roadblocks by being down on themselves, even more.
The first roadblock I want to talk about are your false and limiting beliefs. Now, we've talked about these before. These are things that you have made up based on what people have said to you, what you've seen, the experiences that you've had. And the particular beliefs that I want to talk about here are the internal beliefs, the beliefs about yourself, the beliefs that are attached to your idea, entity. What you do is one thing. Who you believe you are, your identity, is going to stop you or propel you towards the things that you want to do. So, what I'd love you to do right now is just pause this video. If you're listening to it on the podcast, just pause it and have a conversation with yourself, with your big self leading and facilitating the conversation, and ask yourself this question: What am I believing about myself right now that has stopped me from getting the results that I want? So, go ahead right now. Stop this, go ahead, and do that.
So, welcome back. How did you go? I'd love to see comments down below as to what came up for you. For me, it was things that were related to my fear of rejection. So if I do that, then this will have happen. And it was all based around that fear of rejection, that fear of not being good enough, the fear of not being loved. Now that we have isolated and identified those beliefs that we have about ourselves, the next step is we talked about a few weeks ago is to challenge those beliefs, to get out of the emotional brain, up into the logical brain, and to challenge the beliefs and get rid of all those hearsay and circumstantial evidence beliefs that we have and get the real facts.
Remember I said it's not what you do that's going to be your biggest roadblock. It's who you believe you are. So, who do you need to be in 2021 so that you can get those results that you want to have? And now that we've looked at those beliefs, what I want you to do, as I said, is challenge them. Are they really true or are they beliefs that you've clung on to because having those beliefs stops you from moving out of your comfort zone? When you identify the belief, when you challenge it, when you look for real evidence, so you might have a belief that people don't like me. That belief may have come from particular instances in your childhood, at school, whatever, or even in your adult life. And what you've done is formed a generalised belief that everybody doesn't like me.
So, what we can do when we come up into the logical brain is we can look at it and go, "Is that true?", and look for evidence to the contrary. So, thinking about your friends, your family, the relationships that you have and writing down, "Hey, this person likes me and this person and this person and this person, and this is the reason why I know that." So, we're now looking for a different type of evidence. If it's a belief that I'm too young, or I'm too old, we look for evidence of people that are the same age as us that have done the same thing. So, the first roadblock that I really encourage you to work on as you're going into 2021 is the roadblock of your mind, in particular, the false and limiting beliefs.
The second area of roadblock are those physical roadblocks. The things that you are putting up in front of yourself, the things that you are doing or not doing that is sabotaging your results. So, these roadblocks is like putting sugar in your petrol tank. It goes along okay, and then all of a sudden it starts fluttering and carrying on and now you're stranded on the side of the road and you don't know where to go to get it fixed. What are the habits that you have, what are the things that you've developed over 2020 that could change and give you a different result in 2021? For me, it's about my eating. So during COVID-19, I've developed an unhealthy habit of eating too much of the wrong things because I'm at home and the refrigerator is just near my office. It's not too far to walk out of my studio and down and get something to eat. I've found myself eating too much. So, that becomes a physical roadblock because it reduces my energy, clouds my mind, and it makes me feel less about myself than I need to so that I can be who I need to be to move forward. Other physical roadblocks are lack of skills, things that I haven't yet learned, things that I'm not proficient in, that I need to be for me to be able to go to where I want to go. So the second area, we want to look at the physical roadblocks.
As we've talked about many times, navigating our emotions in an unresourceful and an unhealthy way is definitely going to create an environment where you are working against your priorities, where your environment is not conducive to you being productive, and your energy levels are not where they need to be. What are the emotions that you constantly experience that lead to those unresourceful behaviours? When I work with people in the area of Emotional Intelligence, this is where I do a lot of work helping them to understand in the moment the emotion that they're going through and what effect it's having on their thinking and their behaviour. And then being able to develop strategies to navigate that emotion in a healthy way is a key element in them being able to be who they need to be to get the results that they want.
So, there we have three areas of roadblocks and there could be more. However, what I want us to do is just have enough to focus on right now so it doesn't become overwhelming and we can go, "Okay, what's the thing that I can do next to ensure that I have less of those three types of roadblocks, less of the roadblocks in my mind, the physical roadblocks and the emotional roadblocks, the things that came up and held me back in 2020 and the years prior to that?" When we work on ourself, and that's what I'm really inviting you to do here, and prepare ourselves to be who we need to be so that we can then do what we need to do, you can have a 2021, which is your best year ever.
Well, that's it for me for another week. Join me again next week, when we talk about the fourth area in the R4 method, as we put our plan together for 2021, and that's the area of resources. I'll see you then.