Jan 15th, 2021
Are you falling a little bit behind with your New Year's resolutions or are you 100% on track and making progress daily? Hi, this is Grant Herbert, Emotional Intelligence Speaker and Trainer of the Year and Sustainable Performance Coach, and today I want to continue our conversation around all things January and setting up our year for the best one we've ever had by helping you to do a Resolution Rescue.
For many years, I fell into the trap of setting New Year's resolutions. It seemed like the thing to do. Everyone was doing it. And the challenge was, it was just a flippant thing that I said, just like everybody else. It's quite common that every year in the first couple of weeks, gyms are full and people who are long-term members of the gym are not happy because they can never get on a machine and they've got to wait. However, about this time in January, a couple of weeks in, it tends to get a lot easier because the motivation for going to the gym as a New Year's resolution wasn't enough to carry most people to continue to do it. I know myself, there's been many times in my life when I've set a New Year's resolution, had the intention of making it happen, but didn't set it up in a way that I was going to be successful.
And, Hey, if that's you right now, you're in the majority. New Year's Eve is a time when we tick over from one year to the next and particularly going from 2020 to 2021, people were looking at it as an opportunity to have a different year going forward. Now, there's still things that are outside our control. However, I know that we're not going to have a different year, a better year. We're not going to have different results at the end of this year, unless we change the mindsets and we actually changed some behaviour. Over the last seven or eight weeks now. I've been laying a platform to help us to be able to get there. So, I thought I'd just jump in and I would just deal with this New Year's resolution topic and see if we can't take that great intention and get it back on track so that what you said you were going to do can actually be part of the bigger plan and you can get it done.
So, there are three things that I want to bring into this conversation. The first thing is we need to have a big enough "why". I told the story a few weeks ago of the young man walking along the beach and there was an older gentleman there and his dog was making a terrible noise and howling like anything. And the young man said to him, "Well, excuse me. Sir, what's wrong with your dog?" And the man said, "He's sitting on a nail." And the young guy said, "Well, why doesn't he just get off the nail?" And the older gentlemen, with all his wisdom, looked at him and said, "Well, obviously it's only hurting him enough to make a noise about it. It's not hurting him enough to do something about it." And that is where we are a lot of the times when our New Year's resolution just fades away and we forget about it.
What is your big "why"? What is the result that you want out of 2021? If you haven't yet gone through the process of the R4 method, go back and have a look, where I helped you to set your results and to see how that was different to your current reality. We talked about the roadblocks that were going to stop you from getting there and the resources that you needed to add. So, we developed a plan and intention to have a destination at the end of 2021, rather than just end up somewhere. If you've already done that, that's great. If not, go back and do it. What we need to do is have a reason for the New Year's resolution. Where does it fit into the overall picture of what you're going to change in 2021, of what you're going to achieve, who you're going to become?
So, we need to chunk it up to purpose. We need to make sure that we realise, "Well, why did I want to do that New Year's resolution? For what purpose? What's it going to give me that I currently don't have? So, that's the first step. What is your "why"? What are you moving it towards? It could also be looked at the other way where you could go, "Well, what is the pain I'm moving away from? So for me, for example, I've set an intention to get my waistline back to a healthy state. I'm still wearing black t-shirts and I'm sitting down so you can't see it, thankfully, but there was some post-COVID extra that I put on there that needs to be taken off. And the reason I want to do that is when I do my 10k walk every morning, and I'm walking up hills, it's a little bit more challenging. I get out of breath a little bit more easily. I don't have the energy that I want to have. And I know that it's not healthy to carry that around my vital organs. So, there's a big reason. There's a big why. It's not just a, "Hey, I'm going to lose X amount of kilos", or pounds or whatever it is for you. "This year, I'm going to go to the gym. I'm going to", whatever. If it's a part of an intention, a part of a bigger goal, then there's a better chance that you'll do what it takes to get it done.
So, the second thing that we've got to look at is have you broken it down into bite-sized chunks? A lot of times people set a New Year's resolution, which is quite ethereal and it's out there and it's a big picture. And then when I look at what actually has to happen, when life after the holiday comes back and we're back at work and we're back in the office or whatever we're doing, and we go, "I don't know how I'm going to do that", and the overwhelm comes in. And overwhelm is one of the biggest reasons why a lot of these goals, these intentions, these New Year's resolutions are just thrown out and people forget about them.
If you've taken the overall picture of where that New Year's resolution is going to take you at a certain part of the year, it could be the end of the year, it could be in six months, whatever it is for you, what we need to do then is do that reverse-engineering process and bring it back to, "Well, what do I need to do now? What do I need to do this week? And focus only on that. So when we bring the focus down and into a smaller chunk, the overwhelm dissipates. We may go, "Yeah, Hey, I can do that", instead of, "Oh, look. "It's too hard. I'm not able to do that bigger resolution." So, the second thing we need to do is chunk it down into bite-sized steps. So, we've dealt with the get a big "why" and attach it to the "why", the intention, the overall purpose. We've looked at the fact that we need to chunk it down so that we are reverse-engineering it, and then just looking at and focusing on and doing what I need to do today.
And the third area that I want to talk about is accountability. For me, accountability is a big thing. Left to my own devices, even though I am quite a motivated person, I'm self-motivated, I get stuff done, I have been working on different projects and getting results for many, many years, if I didn't have accountability in my life, then I would probably not get a lot of these things done.
Accountability can come in various forms and the number one area of accountability for me is accountable to myself, and this is where it starts. Accountable to what I said, what I wanted to do. Accountable to my purpose, accountable to my calling, my destiny, whatever it is. That's the first area of accountability. And then bringing in people that are closest to me. I'm accountable to my wife and to my children to be in good health because they want me around for a long time. So, they are part of the process. And then there's that next level of accountability, which is getting a coach, getting someone who will keep you accountable and keep you on track with the things that you said you wanted to do. And the other thing that a coach can help you with is making sure that you've gone through that process of looking at the big "why", and chunking it down and making it a part of what it is that you're becoming in 2021. Filtering it and making sure that it's something that you actually do want to do, and that it will bring you the results that you want.
And then to walk alongside you and give you the support, encouragement, and accountability, to remind you of your purpose, remind you why you're doing it. And to help you in those times when you're feeling less than, and your small voice is wanting to take back control. It all stems back to the fact that your unhealthy inner dialogue, that little mini-me that we've talked about so often doesn't want you to achieve those things. It doesn't want you to do things that are different and become someone that's different. So, it'll do whatever it can to pull back the reins and go, "What do you think you're doing? Don't bother doing that. That's not something that we can become." However, with a coach, we can bring it up to that process of putting it into the logical brain and operating out of that sense of confidence and self-belief and self-care so that we can get the these things done.
What is it for you? Are you going to check out your New Year's resolution or is it time for you to do a Resolution Rescue? Take the intention of whatever it was, put it into this process, and set yourself up so that you can have the 2021 that you want to have, so that you can get to the 31st of December 2021 and go, "I've achieved this. I've become this", and then go into the next year with even more intention and more confidence that you can become who it is that you want to become and have the life that you want to live.
Well, that's it from me for this week. Hopefully something in there has encouraged you. I'd love you to subscribe to my channel. I'd love you to share this content and help others with this. New Year's resolutions is something that I use to just speak against. I'd go "Oh, I don't believe in those." They're okay so long as we have a process that we can put them in. So, share this with others. I'd love to hear about your journey. And I look forward to being with you again next week, when we continue this conversation around setting ourselves up in January to make sure that 2021 is our best year ever. I'll see you then.