Jan 8th, 2021
Have you already started working on the results that you want to have in 2021, or are you still stuck in 2020 and not sure how to move forward? Hi, this is Grant Herbert, Emotional Intelligence Master Coach Trainer, and today, I want to continue our conversation around setting ourselves up to get the results that we want out of 2021 by talking to you about a process that will help you to know where to start and what to do next and I call it forward focused reflection.
So last week, we started the year. And by the way, if this was the first time that you're with me this year, happy New Year, and we talked about the last part of the method, which was adding the right resources to overcome those roadblocks that are going to take you from where you are now and get you where you want to go. So today, I want to talk to those of you who are not yet starting on that process. Whether or not you believe in New Year's resolutions or however you do it, I know that in talking to a lot of people over the last week that people are stuck in the past, thinking about all the things that went wrong in 2020, having the level of belief in themselves and the world that's not empowering them to move forward.
So, I want to take you through a process, a process that gets you ready so that you can believe in yourself again, believe in the goals, the results that you want, and then actually take the steps that you need to get them. And then over the next few weeks, I'll unpack individual pieces of this, and together, we will make sure that our January is filled with more action so that we can get moving on the things that we said that we want to have in 2021. By the way, if you haven't yet gone through that process, rewind. Go back four episodes in and have a look at the process, the R4 method that I taught, helping you to understand the four areas that you need to have clarity around before you can get the results that you want.
One of the reasons why people make great resolutions, intentions, whatever it is, and then not achieve them is they just hit the ground running and get into hustle and grind and then don't really understand the journey that they're supposed to be taken. It's like, as I said before, I used to go on road trips. I'd just throw the family in the car. It's okay, we've got a car, we've got roads, we can just go somewhere. And more than on one occasion, I ended up somewhere that wasn't making my family happy. I talked about the time when we didn't book a hotel. And when I mean "we", when I say "we", I mean me, and I drove around and I kept driving and driving and driving until eventually we got to the point where there was no hotels and we had to drive all the way home and we didn't have our breakfast on the beach the next morning, which is what we had planned. So go back, work that out. And if you've already done that, get that out in front of you so that you clearly know where it is that you want to go, where you are right now, what's stopping you from getting there and what you're going to do, what resources are you going to add to overcome those roadblocks and get to where you want to go in 2021.
So now that we've got that out in front of us, whether you've just done that now, or it's something you've been following along with me, what we need to do is get our mindset in the right place, get our intention and our plan refocused on the things that are important and then actually start taking action. So to do this, this is a process that I've been using for many years now. I do it every year and I do it every quarter and I, in fact, I do it subconsciously on a daily basis on an hourly basis, whatever it is that I'm doing a particular project. And what it's been able to do is in those times when my small voice was coming in and taking over, when self-doubt started creeping in, when things weren't going exactly the way I thought they were supposed to go, when I stopped moving forward because I didn't know what the next step was, this process helped me to get back on track, to get that big voice talking again, to get refocused on what it is that I was after, where I was going, and then go on the journey again.
There are three key elements of this process, this forward focused reflection. The first element is to reflect; to reflect on what's already past, to reflect on where we've been. Now, the key here is not the reflection itself so much, but the way that we reflect. I know that many people use their past experiences, their past results as a filter as to where they think that they can go in the future. They allow that to become part of their identity and they might've failed at something so now I am a failure and we've worked on a number of those things, and I'm going to continue to help you to navigate that journey as we go forward.
So, what we want to do is we want to do a type of reflection that keeps our eye on where it is that we're going. Imagine you are driving in a car and you've got a big sheet of glass in front of you. It's called the windshield or the windscreen depending where you come from. And then there's this little bit of glass up on the windscreen that you look in every now and then to see what's going on behind you and that's the rear-view mirror. When we do forward focused reflection, we spend a little bit of time looking in this mirror and keeping most of our focus on the large sheet of glass in front of us, because that's the one where we can see where it is that we're going. So when we do this forward focused reflection, what we do is every now and then we take a look up, we see what's going on behind us, whilst maintaining our focus on where we're going.
So, there are two things that we look for when we do that reflection. The first thing we look for are the things that went well, our wins, the results that we achieved, those things that we were proud of, that we were successful in doing. And the second thing we look for are those things that didn't quite go right, those things that we didn't quite get finished, those things that went off track, and we look at both of those things in the same way.
We're doing an audit so therefore it's a logical brain process to go, "Hey, on the wins, what did I do that helped me to achieve that? What was it about my mindset and my behaviour that helped me to achieve that result?" When we look at the things that didn't go so well, the things that we could do differently, we then ask the same question. "What was it that held me back from getting that result? What was it that I was thinking or doing or not doing that held me back?" And when we're doing this, it's an audit process, as I said. It's a logical process so we're just getting it down. We're not worrying about why, and we're not worrying about getting the deep autopsy results. We're just identifying things that went well, things that didn't go well, and what it was about us that made them that way.
So when we're doing this reflection on the past, it's a quick journey. It's a quick look up in the mirror, just like when you're driving along in the car. One of the biggest challenges that people have is when they do that is that they camp there. They have a look up in the mirror, they look at the things that they didn't achieve, and they lose their focus on where it is that they're going and their small voice takes control. And we make decisions like, "What's the use of trying to get those things that I want this year when I'm not able to get the things that I wanted last year?" So, forward focused reflection needs to be done in the right mindset.
So now that we've done that forward focused reflection, we now understand the things that went well and why, and we understand the things that didn't go so well that we could do differently moving forward. So now, what we want to do is we want to realign everything, that is the mindsets and the behaviour, to that overall plan, to the results that we want, to the resources that we said we're going to add, those things that are going to overcome those roadblocks and get focused again on why it is that we're going here in the first place. Get realigned and refocused on our values and making sure that in the pursuit of what we're going for, we are actually staying true to those. So, we've done a forward focused reflection, we've now realigned things, we've shifted and adjusted and tweaked what it is that we are thinking, saying, and doing so that it brings it back in-line. Another thing is we have dumped some stuff that doesn't belong on this journey. It's okay to leave things in the past, things that you thought were part of who you were and what it is that you were created to do. However, in that reflection time, you've realised that you were riding the wrong horse. Personally, myself, I have done that going into 2021. There were things that I'm doing, I was doing, I should say, in 2020 that weren't serving my overall purpose. I thought they were the right things to do. They were serving a particular group of people or whatever it was, but they were a distraction, in fact, a roadblock to me getting to the things that I am supposed to be doing.
So, what have we done? We've now reflected using forward focused reflection. We have realigned our thinking and our behaviour with where it is that we are going and with the plan that we've set up. So, let's now talk about the third thing that we need to do. The third thing that we need to do now that we've got a clearer picture and we're back on track with where we need to go is we need to relaunch. We need to get things going again. So, we have looked in the past, focused on the future, we've done a few tweaks and adjustments, and we've tuned things up a little bit. Well, now it's time to hit the button. It's time to put the action behind the things that we want to do. So what we're going to do moving forward, I'm going to give you some help with that. I'm going to give you some tips. I'm going to give you some processes, some things that you can do or stop doing that will help you to put that action in place.
Well, that's it for me for another week. Join me again next week, when we continue this conversation around getting our plans in the right place, getting our actions behind them so that we get more out of 2021 than we ever thought possible by having a look at those wonderful things that people set called New Year's resolutions, and I'm going to help you next week to do a resolution rescue. I'll see you then.