Feb 26th, 2021
Are you still continuing to doubt yourself about whether or not you can achieve what it is that you set out to achieve in 2021, or do you have complete confidence that you've done the work, you know what to do, and that you're going to take the action to get the result that you want? Hi, this is Grant Herbert, Emotional Intelligence Speaker and Trainer of the Year and Sustainable Performance Coach, and today I want to wrap up our recent series on becoming who you need to become so that you can do what you need to do to get the results that you want in 2021 by talking to you about trusting the process.
So over the last six to eight weeks, we've gone on a journey together where we had a look at where we wanted to go. We had a look at what might be stopping us from getting there, what I call roadblocks, and we looked at the things that we need to do differently so that we could get different results by the end of the year. We started and most of that is about the internal stuff, the belief in yourself, and the limits that you put on yourself, the ceilings, the caps that you put on there, and the behaviour that you continue to perpetrate that is stopping you from getting the results that you want. We had a look at those wonderful things called New Year's resolutions. And we did a resolution rescue where we took what was a great intention, and we put purpose around it and a plan around it so that it went from being a great idea to something that you had a chance of getting done.
So before we shift gears and go into a new season, a new topic, I wanted to encourage you and let you know that you've got this. You've got everything within you and around you to be able to become who you need to become. You have the ability to take what you've learnt to implement it in your life in every area and make 2021 a totally different year to the years that have been passed. This can be your best ever year. The rest of your life starts now.
One of the reasons why great intention mixed with great information never turns into implementation is that we have those doubting thoughts in that internal dialogue that continue to yell at us. Sometimes it's called a small still voice, but it's not all that small and it doesn't stay still. It gets louder and louder to get your attention. I've taught you before how to reprogram that mini-me to get that internal dialogue changed so that it starts serving you rather than holding you back. I know, because we talked about this as well, that it takes time to change behaviour. You've become who you are right now over the years of doing those same things, thinking those same things, going down that path, and it's wired your brain a certain way. So, the key to you taking what I've taught you over the last eight weeks is repetition. That's how you form the old neural pathways. So, the new ones will only be formed when we continue to do it. That's why, when we did a resolution rescue, we told them it's about the fact that most people at the start of the year who are members in a gym get really annoyed because they can't get on a machine because people have made this New Year's resolution they're going to get fit. So, they go there in droves, and he members seem to think, "Well, this is not good. I'm never going to get on a machine." But two weeks into it, they're fine. They've got plenty of machines left because the intention has gone, and the reason was that you didn't continue to do the new behaviour until it became second nature.
For me now, going for a walk first thing in the morning and getting 10Ks done and doing my meditation and my motivation, listening to podcasts and things that I do, that now happens easily and effortlessly. We talked about the comfort zone last week or the week before, they're all the same. And we talked about the fact that it's not about stepping outside your comfort zone, it's about expanding your comfort zone. And to do that, we do that by making those things which were unfamiliar to us as familiar. We do that by repeating them over and over again.
So, I want to encourage you to keep going. You've come this far. You've been on this journey with me for a while now. And if you haven't and this is the first time that you and I are having a conversation, go back. Go back into the episodes that I did before, and go through that process yourself. I like to keep these short, sharp, succinct with action steps that you can do. So, go back, have a look at those, and come back and join us.
All those things need you to commit to them. All those things need you to make a decision that the future you is going to be different to the current you. Having a conversation with that future you and working out where it is that you want to go, how it is that you want to change, and then introducing current you into that conversation and having a chat with yourself to go, "Hey, this is where we're going. This is what we're going to get out of it", and encouraging yourself to continue the journey. Now, by the way, yes, we don't care what other people think about us. However, be mindful of where you do that. Because if you are out in the open in public and you're having a conversation, then you might have some different challenges, but that's just a bit of fun to keep it lighthearted. But at the end of the day, do what you need to do to change the internal dialogue.
What do we need to do to trust the process? The first thing we need to do is trust our self, trust yourself, have a belief in yourself that exceeds the one that's currently there. To do that in the work that I do in emotional intelligence, it's all about building your personal power. It's all about building your self-confidence through changing your self-talk and your self-belief and your-self care. Once we've got that belief in our self and we start trusting ourselves and we shift the dialogue from what was going on in the past and realising that just because we failed in the past, doesn't mean we're going to fail in the future. Cleaning up that internal dialogue and the way that we talk ourselves, we will be encouraged then to go further. We'll retrain that mini-me that when we are feeling a little bit less than, instead of them giving us a hug and pulling us back and saying, "Yes, what were you thinking? Thinking that you can change", that voice now will propel you forward and go, "Come on, you can do this." You have all the information that you need and you know how to implement it. All you need to do is take one step. So, the first part of this process, to make sure that you get value out of the journey that we're going on together, is trust in yourself.
The second element is to trust the process. You have invested your time and energy with me. This is what I do. This is what I'm an expert in. By the way, as I've told you many times before, I'm an expert in the subject, I'm still a work in progress in the implementation. It's not something that happens. It's not like a magic wand gets waved and now you are totally this. It's about walking in that every day. You can trust the process that I've given you works. Why? Because it's worked in my own life. I will never teach anything, never coach people in anything that I haven't learnt myself and then implemented and seen the results change. So, I trust the process. Just take that next step. It's not about going all the way to here and going, "That's it. I'm getting all the way there", no, it's about taking it from where you are now and breaking it down into bite-sized chunks, trusting the process step-by-step, new behaviour by new behaviour, until you become who you need to become. That's it. Trust yourself, trust the process, continue to repeat the new mindsets, the new thoughts, the new beliefs, the new behaviours until you actually become who it is that you need to become to have the results that you want to have.
So, that's it for this series. I'm going to continue with doing the YouTube videos, doing the podcast, whatever it is. However, because of what's gone on over the COVID period, I too have had to pivot what I'm doing. I'm getting a lot of people continuing to have conversations with me saying, "How do I get involved in doing what you do? How do I help the people in my organisation? How do I help the people in my school, in my friendship groups, whatever it is. How do I learn to coach like you do?" And that is music to my ears because we need more people who are out there helping people with this stuff. We need people to be able to coach, train, and mentor in the elements of human behaviour, social and emotional intelligence, the neuroscience behind that, all these disciplines that I've invested in over the years. I now need to shift, to pass the baton to more people so that it's not just me out there doing this and the other coaches that are there. We need to increase the amount of people that have the skills and ability. Now, that doesn't mean that you need to then quit your day job and become a coach, but to have the skills to be able to do that is going to help, not just the people around you, it actually helps you as well. So, I'm going to start a new series starting next week, which is all about getting into this wonderful arena that I had the privilege of being a leader in and that is the area of coaching and personal and professional development.
So, that's it from me for another week. Trust the process and join me again next week, when we continue to talk about all things human behaviour. However, we shift the conversation a little bit to not just for ourselves, but how do we then apply that and help others to do the same thing. I'll see you then.